[Ben Reeve Lewis looks at strange properties on offer …]
Well Frazzy and I had a marvellous break at Hythe and Dymchurch way for our 5th Anniversary last weekend.
Marred only by the fact that as we were winging home on the A20, just coming into London the car blew up.
The RAC man couldn’t fix it on the road so towed us home. A fine end to festivities.
Back to work on Tuesday presented me with a charming 3 bedroom house where the living room had been divided into two with stud walling to maximise the landlord’s ‘Rental Yield’ I believe it’s called.
Nothing unusual with that these days except that the dividing ran the length of the living room, so each tenant had half the bay window, you could see the wall line from outside, right down the middle of the bay.
Steptoe & son
It put me in mind of that old episode of Steptoe and Son where they divided the house to create their own space, using a football entrance turnstile for the shared kitchen, forcing each of them to put a penny in every time they want to make a cup of tea.
An arrangement I have yet to see but wont be surprised when I do.
A pathetic fine
The Guardian this week ran an interesting story about Barnet Landlord Yaakov Marom renting out a property where in order to get into the room itself you had to crawl through an entrance with a height of 2’ 3”.
As is usual with these cases the landlord failed to comply with prohibition notices and continued to rent it out @ £420 per month.
My opposite numbers in Barnet council quite rightly threw the book at him, trouble is the book in this case was more of a pamphlet, as the courts saw fit to impose a £1,500 fine, £1,420 in costs and a victim surcharge (whatever the hell that is) of a whacking £120.
Once again the only word I can find that suits is ‘Pathetic’. I’m not blaming the council bods but the courts. Where is the deterrent in that?
The fine is around 13 weeks rent. It is highly unlikely that Marom is a landlord with a single property, so the fine would be no more irritating than a wasp on his pint, probably less than that.
Not only is it no deterrent to Marom I’m sure the story, which is reported in the Mail, the Mirror, the BBC, the Sun etc gives heart to dodgy landlords everywhere that they can let out properties like this with impunity, because even if they get caught, what the hell?
And this wasn’t the only property of this type in the news.
Only for the thin
Many of the same organs picked up on this property advertised on Right Move, where the gap between the bed and the kitchen appliances would cause Gizelle Bundchen to suck her stomach in to squeeze past.
I would be kind if I referred to it as a hovel. This place aspires to hovel status and was advertised by the letting agents with, I’m sure the unintentionally funny name of “Relocate me”. I would suggest amending the company name to something more appropriate “Please………..Relocate Me”.
What is even more astonishing is that the property was snapped up within 16 hours by a new, presumably extremely thin, tenant. Such is demand for affordable housing in London.
Some readers may argue for this being simply a case of supply and demand but I would counter that there needs to be some standards. Even germs have standards and trying to rent out properties like this should be a criminal offence.
Works in Default in action
The Evening Standard flagged up another offender who had been renting out a shed to a couple for £750 a month.
He ignored notices served by Hillingdon council to knock it down so they went in and did it for him. Presenting him with a bill for £10,000.
This is a case of ‘Works in Default’, that I wrote an article on just a couple of weeks back.
That’s my kind of result, not a £1,500 fine.
Time for a tablet
Mind you it isn’t just private landlords trying to dodge responsibilities. I read with interest this week of Halton Housing Trust who have decided to reinforce cuts to staff by purchasing tablet computers for all their tenants and training them how to use them.
Working in this way they can close off phone access across the board.
The article points out that the logic behind it isn’t cuts but that the tablets will enable the Trust to reel in £20m in rent once Universal Credit comes in.
Chief Exec Nick Atkin commented:
“If somebody is just saying they can’t be bothered to go online, we won’t take their enquiry, because it means to do so would take resources from somebody else who is vulnerable and needs support.”
I remain unconvinced.
Squeak squeak
But if you need any further convincing that renting land can be a funny old business, Giles Peaker over at nearly legal gave us the strange case of the ‘Sex swing’, the use of which got a tenant evicted for “Sexual and athletic squeaking noises”.
The courts arguing that:
“late night squeaky sex swinging “would no longer correspond to normal rental use, and must therefore not be tolerated as socially acceptable”.
Well it beats leaving blue-tac marks on the walls.
Finally Inside Housing flagged up news of a French housing crisis where new build starts have fallen to emergency levels but get this, the current level is still double what we are managing in the UK.
Zoot Allors
Jules Birch points out that although Britain has roughly the same size population French new builds ran at 400,000, their lowest for 16 years while in the same period the UK managed only 125,460.
The inestimable Mr B raises that old ghost that wont lie down:
“If supply alone is a panacea, as is widely believed in the UK, then why have housing costs in France escalated to the point where the government is imposing rent caps?”
Merde!………….Those crazy French.
See ya next week
The effects of rent caps are interesting.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/08/20/us-france-economy-hollande-idUSKBN0GK0SW20140820
“Housing has become a major headache for the government, with housing starts in France down to a 16-year low – a serious drag on the economy. Property developers blame the problem partly on regulations that took effect this year to set rent limits in cities with more than 50,000 people.”
Re “pathetic fine”, why not proceeds of crime?
As to “Only for the thin”, I would be happy to in that size space if I had a 6 months contact in London returning home at the weekend. I would expect to eat out at lunch times, buy “ready meals” on the way back in the evening and use the “kitchen” for breakfast if that.
(It would be better without the “kitchen” just with a microwave, fridge and kettle. I believe a common setup New York hence office blocks have washing machines etc.)
Some years ago in leafy Canterbury I was asked to go out to a five bed shared student house. This was prior to the 2004 Act. I found a 3 bed ex- council property in which the landlord had subdivided the lounge across the width, so one student had a top light which was very close to the partition and neither had heating as the partiton abutted the gas fire with half in one room and half in the other !
Some magistrates are imposing custodial sentences for harassment and illegal eviction. Sheffield had one landlord issued with a curfew order and a tag to the landlord’s leg. The importance is to get mags to understand that loss of a persons home is serious.
@HB: Interesting article. Note that it says ‘Partly blames rent control’, I’d like to to know more of the situation but I would suspect in some ways it mirrors the British conundrum of on the one hand tenants struggling to cope against a developer/landlords desire to earn as much money as they can without restrictions. Sorry mate I just dont buy the morality of it.
I remember as a small kid my dad explaining to me how when pipes burst in winter plumbers charge more because the demand is more and thinking that this was just plain wrong. It just smacked of exploitation. And I’ve never been able to shake that basic perception.
@Ian. To my mind even given the scenario you suggest Ian I still think its taking the piss to offer up properties like that for the same reason I have given to HBW there. And the sad fact of the matter is it is more likely that the hovel will be taken up but some poor sod just desperate to find a home.
@Colin. Yeah I see stuff like this all day long. Yesterday I went out with one of our trading standards guys who recently got into a convenience store and pointed out to me the side entrance to a basement we didnt know was there, which stretches under the main road and has 20 people living in cubicles divided with curtains. We shall shortly be paying a visit. Although in many ways I am beyond surprise after 25 years of this shit but I still cant help thinking how sad it is that 150 years after his death the conditions that Charles Dickens wrote about and tried to bring to people’s attention are still flourishing.
HB and Ian, I accept that we occupy different worlds and will never agree but if you saw what I saw, 40 hours a week for as long as I have you wouldnt think this was isolated pockets. Yes, probably 90% of lettings arent like this, I’m fully aware I work down the rough arse end of of housing but I cant walk down a street with Frazzy without pointing to different properties saying “Cannabis farm, brothel, money launderer. drug dealer,unauthorised casino” because I’ve been in these houses.
In fact we are currently getting a spate where letting agents are taking on properties from landlords and installing prostitutes to make on the rent and the pimping commission, whilst the innocent buy to let landlord happily beavering away at a day job is totally oblivious to what is going on in their investment property.
You have to accept my word for it, and I’m sure that Colin will agree, that there is still so much of this kind of thing going on that it cant be dismissed as just the vagaries of my admittedly weird job and needs addressing by government.
It turns out the French have scrapped rent caps now Ben. With the exception of some parts of Paris where it is largely ignored anyway.
It was just political posturing from Hollande without thought of the consequences.
As for plumbers charging more at times of high demand, good for them.
A few winters ago, a plumber I use was grafting 18 hours a day. Helped pay for his summer holiday.
And I had no moral dilemma at all with bunging him an extra fifty quid for fitting in my tenants first.
Different perceptions eh?
Brian Eno once said that we use discussion to discover our own thoughts. I think thats right and after posting my earlier comment I discovered something I believe in my heart and soul, that I wasnt really clear on before.
Whilst I have no problem with people turning a profit from any form of human endeavour, including the landlord business, I think it is immoral and exploitative for people to turn an ‘Unrestricted’ profit from basic human needs, such as housing, water etc.
Thats where I come from. Thanks for reminding me.